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"I believe connecting for human beings is not just important but imperative, and it is about more than similar interests. It is about what is alive at the center of our beings, about getting at the truest parts of one another.”

Friday, June 17, 2016

We Don't Conjure Up Intentionality. Do we?

We just can't do that. That mind thought offers precisely the wrong focus.
The world would like to keep us distracted trying to make something happen from effort when what we really need is to focus and rest.

There is this pervasive theme within the Christian culture and as well a similar idea outside of that belief that reads "we should live intentionally."


This way of thinking leads to constant questioning and keeps us in a cycle of striving after something that is unattainable by such a manner. In this case striving is counter productive.

To begin with just what is intention or intentionality?


Over the years I have had many people state they sensed that I live intentionally. I truly did not know how to respond so I usually remained quiet on the subject not meaning to appear unkind. I merely did not know what to say. I sense it a good time to address this now.
Let me begin by clearing up what I believe to be a misnomer. Intentionality is not similar to prioritizing ones life, keeping a calendar, making appointments on time, etc. Those things are done intentionally, yes. Yet, they simply are parts of time management in ones life and though good things, are not intentionality.
As for intentionality, it has been twisted and for whatever reason I sense people have been hooked into believing they are missing something. I see them panting after this knowledge, an ideal of a certain way of living that will create for them a better life. And the odd thing is they buy into this ideal when people tell them this and do so without having been given a clear picture of just what this living intentionally looks like. They are chasing their tails, or someone's tale ;)

Actually, for the life of me when people would tell me they see that I live "intentionally", I did not know what they were referring to. I understood man's definition of the word of course but did not see anything particularly special about how I acted, thought, or what I would say to cause them to draw such a conclusion about my personally being intentional according to man's definition.
It was a long time before such comments gained my attention to the point that they became a question in my own mind. I just did not get that I was doing anything that would draw that kind of attention to myself. I'm not a person who lives to seek or gain the limelight.
After much contemplation I finally decided I needed to discover what is was others were seeing that would cause them to make this statement that I lived intentionally. I mean if I had this thing they were seeking for themselves maybe I knew something that could assist them in "developing" (best word I could come up with) the same within them.
This is what I can say I understand about the philosophical ideal of Intention. You cannot discover, create, or define this in your own life. Intention is one of those traits or things I guess we could call it which God develops or places within us. I know I did not realize I was thinking or doing anything in a particularly different manner from others in any respect.
Therefore I would call "Intention" a gift.
Somewhere along my way God has made me a gift of intention. And let me be clear. I still cannot define what that looks like in my own life. The intentionality you may see in my life lies outside of my ability to see, predict, or offer it out of my own effort in my daily experience with others. It occurs and that's it.

Now, I say that realizing this does not match man made descriptions of intention. This is my best effort to explain the idea how intention came about and works in my own life. Others may have another thought of how this works for them.
Back to what I have discovered written of this, intentionality?
Some have described it as follows: consciously increasing focus on the experience we intend to create – without defining how it “has to” look.
The  differences in definition I would submit referring to my own experience, is that I have no conscience awareness of bringing intentionality into a situation or intent to create anything. I do not go around thinking or planning to be intentional. I'll tell you now, "I never give that a thought, ever!"
After contemplation I believe my best example of intentionality that comes to mind would be for everyone to examine the simple life of a small child. They do not plan all the seconds of their days. They do not worry. They do not awake to set out on a schedule. They do not ask for descriptions, or recipes for their days and lives. They plainly live moment to moment. God simply has them, and they give no thought to that either.
Ponder this. It is said that children give a gift to us by keeping us in the moment. That is intentionality at its highest. Possibly intentionality is that gift that keeps on giving (lol), and does so without a thought to itself, it is unassuming. Even to name it takes away from all it intends to be and not be.
I'd like to offer young mothers especially a bit of peace of mind and place of rest for their souls. On one hand so many young women talk about and strive to be in the moment these days, to be intentional, and yet as young mother's miss it. They miss that they "are" in the moment each time they sit down with their children and enter their worlds. Small children do not think or give much thought to yesterday or tomorrow or the next hour. It is all about the moment they are in. There you go, intentionality welcomes you in without your realizing what it is, the why or how. You are simply there, swept up in that moment.
Rest, enjoy, learn, remember!


God, how we as humans desire to conjure up in our own lives every new revelation someone else has and shares, attempting to script and control every moment of our lives.
This is precisely what God does not want of or for us!
So, as for intentionality -  for adults to live the way of the child, they must again reconnect to faith and confidence in the Lord and His love for them in order to posses no fear of what the next moment might bring. They must be resolute in believing His thoughts are good towards them, He has them.

 This is what the heart of a small child looks like. They trust us as parents to have them, have their little backs and that our thoughts are always good toward them.



With all this said I hope this post draws a better picture of what intentionality is and where it comes from.
If you are one of those people seeking to live more intentionally my thought would be to ask. 
Ask Jesus for the gift of your being more intentional. I have a feeling you will quickly begin a new journey that will bring peace to your soul.
Don't be confused if life does not change around you immediately. Life "will" begin to change. However, it will change within you first and them flow outward from their. You will begin to realize most of life is about our perception of the moments we are in. Then your intentionality will become the instrument that offers that change to your world and you will not have to work at it.
If we look at another of man's definitions for intentionality via PHILOSOPHY which states:
-the quality of mental states (e.g., thoughts, beliefs, desires, hopes) that consists in their being directed toward some object or state of affairs.
That "state" I believe is simply referring to when God has us right where He intended for us all along. That place as adults when we offer to meet Him in His purposes for our lives. A place of surrender of this life to His death, resurrection, and into His offer of new life.
Intentionality is then seen as a place of both connection and one from which we enter into life as it was originally intended.

This world will always try to replicate what only God can do or offer.  
Being intentional is no different. 

Stop reading the books, articles, and how the world perceives intention.
You do not require a word for meditation to quiet the mind, a place to sit and be alone, or a script to live by.

Stop stressing whether you are intentional and focus on Him. 
Make prayerful plans. Then boldly live your daily lives with Him directing your steps. 


He has you, right?

You got it!
Again the answer was JESUS.

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Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Words of truth will halt the slippery downhill slide in life and society

God bless those who pray for us.
Thank you Lord for your Word that is ultimate and absolute truth and reality.

However, in day-to-day life there is as well common sense truth that is necessary for us to live healthy, well-adjusted lives that enables us to live together as a more peaceful society.

People are so use to everyone skirting truth to save feelings that they are amazed when they hear someone actually tell anything like it is.

I find that both sad and ridiculous.

I am not calling for people being curt and uncivil deliberately to individuals in order to hurt them.
However, at times a word of truth spoken in love from a right heart can hurt.

The appeasing spirit that abounds in the world today plays a huge part of what is amiss in individuals and society.

Somewhere along the way we headed down that slippery slope and have found it difficult to halt the slide.

Let me just say this...STOP IT!

We must be willing to hear truth.

People have become so easily offended we can no longer do our work or help one another prevent disaster in their own lives. 

Truths such as anywhere from - That's hot! Don't touch it. - to- If you have a baby out of wedlock life will become much more difficult for everyone involved. 

Or, sex with many different partners ups your possibilities of acquiring a sexually transmitted disease. How about, if you continue to eat unchecked and not exercise you will become fat and unhealthy. Or, if you continue to smoke cigarettes incessantly or do drugs and drink alcohol like a fish it will adversely affect your health and relationships. Or, one of my favorites, you can tell me all day you care about someone but if you do not take care of yourself I find it difficult to believe what you say about caring about others. Another one, you can tell me time after time what your plans and visions for the future are but actions are what bring about the fruit of dreams not your words.
Anytime someone’s words feel like a cold slap on the face as it pricks your heart...take heed.

To avoid such awkward events simply check yourself, your thinking, and your assumptions.

How?

When conversations run in a direction against your grain of thinking ask yourself these questions:

  1. Could what I currently believe about this subject possibly be wrong? 
  2. Suggest to yourself that the other person could be right. 
  3. Notice what occurs in your thinking at that moment? 
  4. Would believing the new truth bring about a clearing of a current problem or situation in your life?

Give it a shot!

You might have just heard a necessary word of truth.

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Saturday, March 19, 2016

My Thoughts on Blog Post: 15 Mother-In-Law Behaviors That Deserve A Punch In The Face

As a mother-in-law of 5 whopping years I have been wanting to address these type articles and posts that crop up ever so often.

I’m fortunate to have a wonderful, not 100% perfect, but very sweet daughter-in-law who went to college, was a fantastic softball player, is pretty, and a hard worker....hahahaha (a little family funny there).
I’d give her a 98% and rising ;)

Are things perfect in our relationship?
NO!
Hahahahaha.
But we talk, cry, laugh and get on with it.
There will always be stuff, that’s life.
Not letting “stuff" build up and being able to cry and laugh are very helpful.
But truth is, people are just different and we are all hopefully growing day by day.

Give the blog post linked here a read and see what you think. I realize it might have been written with a touch of sarcasm.
But why?

                                                15 Mother-In-Law Behaviors 
                                        That Deserve a Punch in the Face


I could not in good conscience pass up the opportunity to review this blog post.

Anyways, here is what I have been wanting to say from a mother-in-law's perspective about this subject of young women (particularly this blogger) writing about their experiences with their mother-in-laws.

Although there are cases where you might marry and become the fortunate daughter-in-law of the mother-in-law from hell, most likely that will NOT be the case! And these type posts make out that this is the everyday experience, the norm for all daughter-in-laws.

I don't buy it. NOT in this day and time where young people tend to more than ever suffer a blatant issue with entitlement and narcissism. 

Relationships are simply, work! 

How does the writer of this post ever expect her mother-in-law to please her or to measure up? 
And does she have a right to expect her to? 
How could her mother-in-law ever measure up now that this writer has set her own standards in stone which she expects another individual to live by?

Writing this post is a tell-tale sign that this daughter-in-law does not get it if you know what I mean.

Let me begin by asking, where is this young woman's compassion, her understanding, her grace and forgiveness, her willingness to get a long, to be friends? In the entire post that I read the writer did not reveal one redeeming quality I can apply to her. That's a biggy because I can see good in most anything or anyone.

When it comes to marriage and the blending of two families there really is more to it than jumping in the sack and playing house. And truth is this writer did on her own accord decide to step right smack into the middle of another family dragging her family along with her as well. Her choice, right?

It really does take effort on every person’s part to make relationships in a marriage work, which by the way includes all three families involved.

Sadly, this is far from the first time I have read such a post. Always there is this stark reality about these young women that hits me smack in the heart awakening my compassion for them. It is quite apparent there is a total unawareness that more than 2 people are involved in their marriage. They are struggling in the dark losing the battle for their marriages. They do not see what is ahead if they do not wake up.

There is this glaring FACT told by their actions in writing these type posts that they are in reality stating they do not want to be a part of their husband’s family no matter what they say to differ. They do not get what they are actually revealing about themselves and should search their own hearts for the truth.

These young women do not get that not unlike like two grape vines torn from the earth and spliced together to make a new wine, she and her husband. the two of them, have now joined themselves and two completely different families together for a lifetime by means of their marriage. The families did not ask to be a part of any union. Couples are not islands unto themselves as much as they would like to live each day giddy and alone with one another. They are a part of a whole, a now larger family.

Let me offer a few words about how she might ought to think about the situation.

Each new stage in life, here particularly marriage, is about:

  1. What can I learn from these new people and experiences in my life?
  2. How can my choices make me a better person?
  3. How can I become a part of my new family I chose to become a part of and helped to create?


Couples should realize from the start there is responsibility that comes along with that “I do”.

These unhappy writers set themselves up as "centers of their worlds".  Oblivious that life does not revolve around one person's wishes and desires. Albeit each person’s own plans are important. Yet, these wives are not the center of everyone else's lives. To think that way reveals a very spoiled disposition and horrid attitude.

I would guess that any mother-in-law to this type young woman would never have a chance to meet her unspoken (although now published) and unreasonable expectations. This young woman has just set herself up for a lifetime of misery for herself, her husband she declares to love, and the families on both sides who had no choice in the matter of the union.

This is what false expectations can offer people. Toss together a mother-in-law and a new daughter-what could you rightly expect from two people who have lived lives apart, from different generations, with different experiences, different backgrounds, different hurts, different victories, different understandings of love, respect, honor, family, home life, and woman-hood. 

One woman has lived many years, the other even though she feels she is old and wise has lived in comparison a short period of time.

It takes communication and understanding over time in order to forge new relationships. No one expects two people to become alike. Differences are good. Difference offer strength. Where two are alike one is not necessary. Learn to overlook small grievances, give grace, learn the art of leaning in to others strengths, and how to allow them to lean into your strengths. We are all weak and need others. How can we be grateful and thankful people otherwise?

It might do the young woman good to know that her mother-in-law has walked her path and stood in her shoes. Perhaps her mother-in-law is attempting to dance a dance with an uncomfortable, clumsy, left handed lead. The mother-in-law may be a little out of step, not hear the music quite the same, step on the other person’s toes-but I can assure you that mother-in-law wants to continue the dance because she knows in her heart her son loves this person and that mother is grateful for the joy the young wife offers her son. She understands that he found a person to face life with both the pleasant and the difficult. She knows one day she might not be there and she is assured her son has another heart to care for him, one he loves as he once loved her, his mom-completely. That love allowed the mom to let go and to hear internally, "job well done".

A word about moms and parents in general letting go of their children. Parents don’t disappear when young people get married. They do not stop caring, loving, hoping, praying for them. They are still there when needed, although they take a step back. Parents pause a bit longer before offering their assistance. And if they overhear a disagreement in front of them, they hold their tongues, maybe bite them quite often. Actually, we live with sore tongues. 

Parents know they have traveled the same roads their children are journeying, and as a matter of fact in retrospect applaud their own own parents with new enlightened eyes and hearts. 

However, there might be a time when unfair things are being said or done between child and spouse in front of them and they decide to take the chance and step in for a moment to hopefully help avoid damage they know from experience is imminent if the situation is not addressed just then. There is no right or wrong in that. The parents know the young people cannot see what they have not experienced and they just choose to face the music of intentions being misunderstood.

One more thing. Mothers, good mothers, maybe the "best of mothers" do not think their children perfect. Good mothers look for and focus to see the best in their children. Isn’t it said we will find what we are looking for? Isn’t that what we are suppose to do for all people? Isn’t that what you would hope a mother-in-law would offer to do for you - to see past any glaring faults, to offer to lift you up by seeking out the goodness hidden inside of your heart versus the words or actions you might display?

This mother-in-law can tell you from her own experience she wished that this was how it had been for her. And now, although not perfect at doing so strives to offer this grace to the hearts of her own children’s mates as well as her own children.

Let me pause here to say I did not read anything in this current post to lead me to believe this writer held a belief in Jesus Christ. So, I am probably holding her to a standard she is not empowered to attain. We can tend to forget at times the stark difference between those who belong to his kingdom and those who belong to this darkened world. If by chance she does in fact know Jesus, I would say she is being influenced from outside forces in her thinking. She might do well to seek wiser counsel on the subject than those who are struggling with their own issues, projecting their own hardness of heart, and commiserating in self pity.

If is difficult to be newlyweds. It is as well difficult to be in-laws.
Young married couples will understand it all one day, sadly about 20 years down the road, 

All becomes clear in time they say, and they are right!
We live and hopefully we learn.

This has just been one mother-in-laws thoughts on this subject.


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Wednesday, March 16, 2016

GOP and media lunes at it again this time with claim of stock crash when Trump elected


Can't believe people would ever believe the BS propaganda floating about out there about Trump and a crash in stocks should he be elected and implement his policies..
Under Obama and past others, we have experienced "corrections" in the stock market. However, let's call it a crash if Trump were in office.
First, do republicans want the status quo of Obama and this Republican "leadership currently in place? Then just leave Obama in office or let's just hire HIllary.
But if anyone believes there can be real change without upsetting the economy and society in order to get well they are DELUSIONAL.
If you have an infection in your body and you take the RIGHT antibiotic guess what the first thing is that occurs. The infection gets upset, disturbed and can appear worse at first. That process is actually how doctors know they have the right medicine to do the job.
Actually what Trump is telling us (without telling us just planning on fixing it) is this. Our leadership the past many decades has moved our country towards a global economy. How has that worked for us so far? Who ever thought to make our economy reliant on others around the world doing well was a nut.
If Christians do not understand the danger in that then don't expect the rest of the world to get it.
Politicians have been running our country like America was the top side of a huge worldwide corporation. Sounds cool, huh? Except what I mentioned a moment ago. We do not have similar beliefs and ideals, integrity, character traits as other countries around the globe. They may not play fair. And they all do not. They can and do pull the legs out from beneath the table of our economy. Look at the EU and the dollar. Look at China's affect on us most recently.
Trump's policies would provide stability to America once again. Less dependence on the rest of the world. He is not saying we bail on the rest of the world. Yet, you cannot give away what you do not posses. We can't help others if we can't help ourselves first. America was called a leader not out of arrogance but because we were able to help others because we were strong.
Do people REALLY believe that we can go from a 21TRILLION DOLLAR deficit (thank you Obama and this republican leadership), Obamacare, the civil unrest, squashed military, mess the veterans are experiencing, Iran deal, N. Korean Kim-no-nut situation, persecution of Christians, all the nuts running around wanting something for nothing (that's called magic and does not really happen) , insanity of people changing genders and telling us we will like it, and all the other crud Obama has penned and schemed to unleash on America-all without a period of "seemingly" crisis or hardship and adjustments?
You would have to be nuts to think such a thing.
And what is it people think America is going to look like now?
Anyone who believes any candidate can promote and offer real change without disruption is deceiving himself.
Give a kindergartener a messy situation with a lot of paint, ink, mud, and ask him to clean it up and he will bawk because he knows when he goes to wipe it up it will smear and he will be getting dirty cleaning it up.
A 5 year old knows you must get a little dirty to clean a mess up!!!! A 5 year old.
Why can't adults realize this concept?
If people think that a "Constitutional" debater can offer this country what it needs then go ahead and work against the one "person" who can pump life back into America. The person who can change trade policies, get America back to producing, create jobs, create revenue, build teams to answer the issues of education, military, healthcare.
Or, just go ahead and hire the person who has talked about it all.
The American people are at fault here. We allowed this mess to occur. And guess what? The American people will endure the medicine it takes to heal.
And PRAY, by all means pray for our country. But realize what you are actually praying for. If I recall correctly...prayer changes us. 
We asked God for a king. We will be the ones to hire our king. 
God changes us. Get these 2 realities straight to start.
We best not delude ourselves again into thinking we are hiring a savior to be president of these United States.

Why I Love to Hate Economists in General:

Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. 
The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. 
The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. 
The third econometrician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it!"

NATURAL RATE OF UNEMPLOYMENT: Newlan's Truism: An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.

Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.
Q: How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to assume the existence of ladder and one to change the bulb.
Q: How many neo-classical economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It depends on the wage rate.
Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
Beginning to get the idea?


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Friday, February 12, 2016

Flawed 21st century idea of compromise and its solution

I love it when people offer me the opportunity to philosophically unload on them by asking me to "compromise".
I let them know in no uncertain terms that "I do not compromise".

A compromise is simply when people know what is right and convince someone to go against their better judgement.

One of the fundamental parts of integrity and character that I ever learned was about...
NOT COMPROMISING!


You can learn about the ideal of not compromising. However, the ability to live out a life of no compromising cannot be learned. I am referencing the power behind it all.

Once upon a time this was praised and valued highly and held to equate good character, a person of their word. I may get a lot wrong still, but I pray never this.

These past couple of decades have seen people fall pry to some dangerous thinking.

This girl is still pro--->




Just how do we avoid "the compromise"? 
The old school of "true debate" will assist in uncovering facts that offer breakthrough during dead-locks.

The Anti-21st Century Debate
(the non-compromising way to the correct outcome or decision)

It is quite evident that today's version of debate simply does not work!
Quite frankly, no form of debate will ever work when the people debating hold no principles, flawed integrity, and lack genuine character, and no spine!

However, with sound principles, integrity, and superior character debate offers hope to truth winning out once again utilizing debate.
Supremely, a person who debates for highest and best resolutions requires courage 





How does debate function in the most simple terms?

First, state and support your topic, Then lay out your facts and argument. Next, those who oppose will refute and support opposing views offering facts or solutions.

The win occurs when one or both parties experiences the epiphany that a prior held fact is revealed to be faulty or the better way becomes evident for various reasons, out-dated information, information lacked support, etc.

There is a change in direction due to change in facts, thereby the parties experience a two-sided win.

In Stark Contrast is -“the Compromise”

Woe, the compromise. Compromise is when one side or both parties gives in to some degree during argument.  Compromise is where one or both gives up something they previously held as right, just or necessary.  They choose to do so in order to obtain something they perceive as now more valuable out of a deal aside of their initial win for justice or the highest and best decision or resolution.

There is a change in direction due to a trade-off, no win, and not necessarily any change in facts.

There is a call out today to return to high moral character, integrity, and principles that we can pass down from generation to generation.

In truth these type, high standards, must be a natural part of each of us. These standards cannot be faked, earned, or learned. They stream from one place only.

How do we get there?
Matthew 6:33


Monday, November 25, 2013

Embrace the child-like joy of Santa


Don't you love Santa? 

He lights up the hearts of children of all ages. 
What a joy he offers for the holidays and year round. 
Once people are delivered from the fear of usurping Jesus at Christmastime they can really begin to enjoy 
Santa

Christmas is a time God gave to us for joy, and a time he has used to teach us how to give and to receive.

I look forward all year to welcome the Christmas season by decorating for the holidays.
This is one way I express my love for family and friends. Decorating is a personal gift I offer to each of them. I can hardly wait for the time to pull out our Santa and sit him along with one of his elves on our front stoop 



There by our front door Santa waits to welcome guests to our home during the holidays.
What joy we are offered each wintery holiday season as Santa arrives on the scene.

Yes there is a lesson here?
Priority!

Make sure we have Jesus first in our lives.
Then enjoy to the fullest gift of Santa to this world.

So, go ahead, shop until you drop if you will.
Giving a well thought gift is an expression of our love for those we hold dear.
With each gift given we ignite a small light in this weary and often dark world.
The act of giving to others is a gift we give to our own hearts as well.
Giving is at the very heart of God, so why would we question the goodness of Santa?

Doesn’t the spirit of Santa express God’s heart for us as well?
Receive and drink in the spirit of Christmas allowing it to wash over you, and then give it away.

Don't allow the skeptics to steal Santa’s offering of joyful whimsy for you and your family during this season of light.

En--Joy! 





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